John 14-16 "Do not let your hearts be troubled"

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"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."  (John 14:27)

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world!" (John 16:33)

This is what Jesus told his disciples the night before he was crucified. He's trying to explain to them what he is about to do and why they can't follow him now. It's impossible for them to understand! But this is one of my favourite parts in the bible ... all the things that Jesus says to them between the last supper and his arrest. 

There is such intimacy and urgency and love in his words. He is about to leave them and he wants them to be ready for trouble they are about to experience. He even warns them that "a time is coming when anyone who kills you will think he is offering a service to God."

Reading these chapters again reminds me that life is not supposed to be easy.  It is about having peace amidst trouble. It's about love and joy that comes from Jesus. It's about going and bearing fruit. It's about loving each other. He gives us the Counsellor who will guide us in all truth. It's about obedience and remaining in Him. 

Three things happened this week to remind me that I am straying away from God being my #1 focus. 

1. My coach gave me feedback on all the work (aka striving) I am doing.

2. I listened to the Free from Me video series by Sharon Hodde Miller which was SOO convicting. Ouch.

3. I had an evening of intense anxiety when I felt like I had failed as a homeschool parent.

I haven't been remaining in Him! I somehow, detached myself from the vine, and tried to become an independent branch - fully self-sufficient - working to build myself up and finding my worth in my own greatness. It's so sneaky!!! But the evidence is there. Like holes in the leaves of my kale. I can't see the worm, but the evidence is clear. 

Lord, I repent! I'm sorry I've gone and tried to detach. I'm like Max in Where the Wild Things Are. I got in my "Joanna" boat and sailed away for something greater. I'm sorry I forgot you. I'm sorry I didn't have the patience to wait for your timing. I'm sorry I tried to take the glory. Lord, keep me small. I don't like it when I over-inflate! Instead of your peace, I'm all mixed up in the world's anxieties. YOU are my God. My vine. My truth. My life. Amen.  


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